The topic for this weeks Sunday Post has been eluding me – not because there’s nothing to say; rather because there’s too much …. it seems to be coming true, the expectation, that once the posting got started again, it would not stop …. fitting really, I suppose, as metaphorical reiteration of the commonly misunderstood fact/s re grief: that one ‘gets over’ it, that one ‘moves on’, that one ‘heals’ ….. I can’t speak for ‘natural’ grief, but as for the ‘un-natural’, both experience and research is confirming the inaccuracy of such perceptions. I’m not ‘moving on’, I’m learning to live with my grief, adapting and growing – I was about to say: ‘within its constrictions’, but I am discovering that though there are definitely limiters, there are also stimuli which are effecting a surprising and therefore curious sense of release and freedom…. it’s called ‘hope’, I think; hope, unbridled, which is proving to be a rather heady tonic.
I didn’t see that coming …..but then again, why would I? No-one preps you for this….
This week I was invited to be panellist on the BBC Radio Scotland Steven Jardine Show to share experience of ‘bereavement and the workplace.’ The invite came hard upon another event recently attended: a conference organised by the ‘Scottish partnership for palliative care’ (Good Life/Good Grief/Good Grief)’.
Both events were focussed on differing aspects of loss – nevertheless I could not help but feel heartened by the very fact of their occurrence. Within both events the (increasingly familiar) point was made, that bereavement will affect everyone, but it is a misunderstood phenomenon, extensively and both culturally and individually.
This ignorance, iteratively enhanced, only breeds additional distress, to which I can most certainly attest – which I suppose is one reason why I write. There is an implicit desire to explain all of this; though it may be cathartic there is an increasing sense of responsibility, to inform ….
When I was at the conference I was explaining to a delegate, about the circumstances of Christopher’s death and the subsequent support, or lack of rather – and I was kindly asked: ‘what would have helped?’ This question is provoking a considerable amount of reflection, but critically, there’s one thing above all else that comes to the fore: ‘knowledge’.
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I’d been wondering this week what to write about – but I don’t suppose I need ever wonder. I’m writing about grief …….contributing, I hope, to an ever expanding body of knowledge, for though this may not be a particularly pleasant topic, ignorance of it is not in this case, bliss.
Song for the moment: ‘Blinded by the Light’ by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band.
Love to all,
Mx